Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
