sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
