so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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