Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your face is a jimmy john
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
