I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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