I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
