We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
