My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
