I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
