are you still at the devil's house?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
