well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
