I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
