He had one of those small greek statue penises
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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