Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
