Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
