Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
