Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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