Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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