Non-Jews are for practice
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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