I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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