i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
