so that wasnt chicken after all
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
