So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
