no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
