i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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