His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I woke up under a house in Key West
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
