some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
