My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
