You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
