and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
