You're my little dorito
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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