Yo dont text me then not text me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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