Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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