well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
