I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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