Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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