i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just threw up on my dentist
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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