Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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