Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it's not cheating when I paid for it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
