I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
