Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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