I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
