I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
