i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize