he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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