i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize