Your mouth is God's brothel.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I still have a little drunk in my system
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