Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
