i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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