that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
