If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
