When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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