I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
