I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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