So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
