goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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