ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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