ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
