So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
