he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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