I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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