I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
