I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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