I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize