Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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