Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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