I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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