so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
And then the night went full on bisexual.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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