just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
