And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
